Safe Harbors: Parent Orientation
- Nov 1, 2024
- 3 min read
Parenting is the art of loving another, it’s an ongoing practice of empathy, alliance, boundaries, forgiveness, and consciously growing together through imperfection. Most of us do not imagine divorce from our children, but we do get confused, frustrated, and sometimes disappointed.
Parenting is an opportunity to know yourself better. When we love from grounded self-love, we contribute to earned secure relationships. When we are less than secure about ourselves, or in conflict with other adults in our tribe, we will be less secure in our parenting relationships. The solution is to heal on purpose.
From Fear to Freedom
Raising children in today’s world means raising them within systems that often misunderstand them. When we acknowledge systemic injustices, we can begin to see the ways oppressive tendencies contribute to insecure habit formation.
According to Parenting for Liberation: A Guide for Raising Black Children, love and resistance coexist — author, activist and mother Trina Greene Brown created a virtual multimedia platform for parents to deepen connection with their children through inspiration and safe harbor, which we trust as the resources for secure attachments. We encourage parents, co-parents, grandparents, and caregivers to prepare children for the human journey, modeling the ways to create Safe Harbors.
Specifically for parents, being a role model starts with a full embrace of the assignment.
Parenting Self-Accountability Checklist
Notice Fear: Pause when your actions come from fear rather than faith in your child’s capability.
Choose Love Over Control: Soften protection into guidance — lift your child’s heart on purpose.
Practice Reflection: “What part of my fear do you see me putting on you?”
Model Resistance: Let love, boundaries, mistakes, and advocacy shine in your connection.
Create Safe Belonging: Make home the softest place in a hard world.
Affirm Daily: Speak belief into your child: “You are safe. You are loved. You are powerful.”
Celebrate Culture: Teach pride in history, spotlight characters of virtue, demonstrate grace in pain, celebrate anything sacred to your heart, find brilliance together every day.
Center Joy: Remember: healing is not the absence of struggle; it’s the presence of joy, despite grief.
Parenting to create Safe Harbors for children is a lifelong practice, we encourage gathering with other parents who choose conscious belonging for their families. We are never perfect, but trying creates a commitment to growth, love and a stronger next generation.
Parenting is supporting our children to be leaders. Our efforts are not sustained through endurance.
Parenting is sustained through love, hope, mentorship, accountability, and care.
The garden of eden is available to us all, but when we need to tend the garden we complain.
Each one teaches one… and so we do, because we must. Because memory is fragile.
Expect the journey to look a lot like repairing electrical damage in a 30 story building ~ it’s confusing, expensive, and time consuming. At first, the busted out walls and plaster dust everywhere will make you doubt repair is possible. Just wait. Hold on to yourself by closing your eyes if you need to. We will help you find your hope on purpose.
This program is confident because too many have tried and succeeded.
Do you consent to 1 hour of emotional labor every day? We give you lots of options to spend this hour, but your first promise is the hardest ~ can you show up for yourself and your loved ones for 1 hour every day?
If you spend 2 hours on one day, that does not carry over to a different day. If you miss a day, you forgive yourself AND you document your truth.
We use technology to support your actual needs and progress. This is an experiment. This is your opportunity to see what you are actually capable of, and why.
We begin with assessment. It’s like a treadmill test for physical therapy. Based on your actual results, we can support you to grow personal confidence. In just a short while you will join other parents who are also shaping the future with their children. Conscious Living is the real objective, and capacity training has nothing to do with existing education. When we actually understand emotional injury, the solutions are not actually hard.
Find out more about our Safe Harbors: Parenting Intensive program community collaborations by email to info@growurpotential.org.
To schedule a consultation for family therapy fill out this form.
To get to know Trina Greene Brown’s work better visit parentingforliberation.org or listen to her interview Parenting for Liberation – In Conversation with Trina Greene Brown.