The Family Care Team

In 2016, early in growURpotential.org's formation, two of our co-founders supported families through OPICA.org, one of the nation's first Adult Day Programs and Counseling Centers for families navigating dementia.

Dena Schwimmer, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Schwimmer Counseling, guided families through care planning during some of their most difficult transitions. Meisha Thrasher was invited to help staff and volunteers strengthen communication about the specific care resources families deserve.

One lesson emerged again and again:

The caregiver is often the person least likely to accept care.

This matters because chronic caregiver stress, sleep deprivation, social isolation, depression, cardiovascular disease, and delayed self-care are associated with significant health risks and premature mortality.

Some caregivers ask for help.

Others insist, "I've got it."

They stay up late, wake up early, miss appointments, ignore symptoms, and place their own needs at the bottom of the list.

At first, people praise them for dedicated, selfless, and dependable actions.

But over time, dedication can become overgiving and self-abandonment. Responsibility can become poor boundaries and inequitable division of labor. Service can become martyrdom.

The Family Care Team can reshape how we love, support, and hold a care plan.

Not someday.

Not after the crisis.

Today.

A healthy care plan distributes responsibility.

One family member provides transportation.

Another prepares meals.

A friend sits with a loved one on Saturday.

A respite provider covers a weekend shift.

During those hours, the primary caregiver is not coordinating, supervising, or worrying. They are resting. Sleeping. Walking. Creating. Praying. Receiving care.

The goal is not escape. The goal is sustainability.

No one person was designed to carry an entire village. Healthy communities have always shared responsibility. Children belonged to the village. Elders belonged to the village. Healing is a collective adventure.

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that doing everything alone is strength.

More frequently, it is unaddressed fear of disappointing others, being a burden, or appearing to be lazy or incapable.

Care planning offers another truth: Love grows when responsibility is shared. The people who love each other want an opportunity to practice loving each other effectively, especially during a crisis of health.

To all who bravely step into the role of caregiver, we say: Let them help you!

The caregiver who accepts help becomes a model of self-love, compassion, and family leadership. Healing is a shared responsibility. And like OPICA.org we support families who deserve a care-plan that celebrates team effort! Email casemanager@growURpotential.org for support.